What will I remember?

I recently spent the day at a ministry event that, if I'm going to be honest, left me completely exhausted, frustrated, and wanting to retreat into my own little world for a few days. I came home and thought "Ok, I've done my time, paid my dues, now it's 'me time' and I shouldn't feel guilty about closing myself off to ministry tomorrow." I sat down to journal about my day and began to write defeatedly about each thing that had aggravated me. But as I wrote each line, the Holy Spirit began His quiet, gentle work in my heart. 

I angrily wrote: "And the boys said .... and were acting like ... and made me feel so ..." And the Lord whispered: "And do you also remember when they looked up at you and smiled and said "thank you?" Do you remember when they got scared and instinctively reached out to hold your hand? Do you remember when they sat down next to you and put their heads on your shoulder? Do you remember when they grinned at you with lips and cheeks coated in bright blue chicle ice cream? Do you remember the look on their faces when they tried on brand new, never been worn, tags-still-on church shirts and felt like the most special little boys in the entire world?"

Each time I began to write about a new frustration, God would gently remind me of a way in which that exact person or situation had also been a ministering agent of His grace, His joy, or His beauty to me that day. It's all about perspective. God simply asked me, "Kristin, what will you choose to remember about today?" Did I want to remember the frustration, the anger, and the disappointment? Is that really how I wanted to record that day in my memory forever? Is that really what the Lord wanted me to store in my heart from those hours spent doing His work? I had a choice to make - remember the flesh, or remember the Spirit.

I choose to remember the moments of joy in the midst of frustration.

I choose to remember the hope in the midst of seemingly endless disappointment.

I choose to remember the glimpses of eternity. 

Why do I choose to remember the good? Because God remembers not my sin, not the endless list of ways I've disappointed Him, not my selfishness, my anger, nor my guilt. God looks at me and remember Jesus - His sacrifice on the cross for the worst of these. In His great mercy, He extends not an attitude of frustration nor blame but rather a heart of forgiveness and grace. Who am I to extend the opposite to those who I am called to love and serve? 

I, I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, 

and I will not remember your sins. 

-Isaiah 43:25

I will forgive (be merciful toward) their iniquity, 

and I will remember their sin no more. 

- Jeremiah 31:34, again in Hebrews 8:12

I choose to remember in others what I want the Lord to remember in me. I choose to extend grace in my memories of frustrating events with people who disappointed me that day.

What will you choose to remember about today? What will you choose to remember about him or her? What will you choose to remember about this season of your life? 

Remember grace. Remember mercy. Remember Him.