Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Mine


I worked for it.
I bought it.
It belongs to me.
It’s mine.

God used a very little thing to humble me in a big way today. I came home from work with only a couple hours before I needed to be at Casa Monte Plata to teach piano lessons. I needed to make and eat lunch, clean our guest room for some upcoming visitors, wash sheets for the guest beds, and plan our craft for Clase Biblica tomorrow. I got to work on washing the sheets right after eating lunch. I filled the washing machine with water, dissolved the powdered soap, put the sheets in, turned the dial…and nothing happened. My first reaction was “Perfect, the power is out,” (which happens frequently) but then I realized that the porch light was on. I glanced down and saw that the extension cord that I purchased to connect the washing machine to the power outlet was missing. I asked my roommate if she knew where it was and she told me that she saw someone at school using it today. If you are reading this, please brace yourself to have all your preconcieved notions of how missionaries behave shattered.

I got mad. I got frustrated. I got really annoyed. You mean to tell me that someone came onto my porch, unplugged my washing machine, took the extension cord that I bought, used it at school, didn’t return it to me, and didn’t even ask me first?! What right do they have to do that? Don’t they know that the extension cord isn’t theirs?! It’s mine!!

I hope you are rolling your eyes and laughing at me right now, because that is what I am doing to myself. I sound like a two-year-old, don’t I? I don’t know where along the way I allowed myself to stop believing that Jesus didn’t really mean it when he said to give away all you have. I don’t know when I decided that I didn’t need to take Philippians 2:3 seriously when it says “but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” I don’t know when I learned that “love your neighbor as yourself” applies only when it’s convenient and not when you loved yourself enough to buy something but don’t love others enough to share it with them.

Needless to say, I found the power cord, finished washing my sheets, and then had a serious chat with the Lord about my sinful attitude. I am being convicted about how much this attitude pervades my life. It’s my time to relax, it’s my food to eat, it’s my schedule to control, it’s my space to live in, it’s my (fill-in-the-blank). When we look at the life of Jesus, we see Him giving so much of Himself that He ultimately ends up giving His own life for us. How is it that I call myself a follower of Christ and say that I desire to be more like Him, yet I continue to live with such a selfish attitude? This is just another one of the many ways in which the Dominican culture is challenging me to be more Christ-like. So many of my Dominican friends and neighbors live with such a different conviction about earthly possessions than I naturally gravitate towards. I appreciate their selflesness, their willingness to share, their ability to say “We’re friends, we love each other, we trust each other, so I shouldn’t have to ask you to borrow your extension cord because I know you love me enough to let me use it when I need it.” How thankful I am that Jesus once said to me “I’m your friend, I love you, I don’t need to ask you if you need me to give my life for you because I already know that’s what you need and I’m going to give it for you whether you ask me to or not.” May we all continue to share, give, and sacrifice more and more like Jesus did. 

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Productivity and People


Productivity.

If you are reading this in America, I’m sure you are familiar with this word. The capitalist American culture thrives on productivity.
If you are reading this as a friend of Kristin Barber, I know you are familiar with this word. Obsessive-compulsive, type-A Kristin thrives on productivity.

I will never forget the day  I had this converstaion with a coworker at my school in Glendale, AZ. One day after school he was in my classroom chatting about instruction, and he said “You know, when I first got to this school, I thought you were really mean. I was afraid to talk to you.” What?! Me?! Mean?! I defensively asked him to explain what he meant. He told me that when I was at work, making copies in the workroom, walking through the halls, working in my classroom, I was in “go-mode,” and it seemed like I didn’t want anyone to bother me. My immediate reaction was to stand up for myself and justify my actions, but when I took a moment to think about it, I realized that he was right. I thrive on productivity, on finishing a job, on making every minute of work count. I had always masked this obsession as being passionate about my job, caring about my students, or wanting to continually grow professionally. But at the end of the day, he was right. I naturally prioritize efficiency over relationships. I prioritize productivity over people.

Take a minute to think about Jesus. What did Jesus prioritize? Did Jesus operate with productivity in mind or with people in mind? We read about Him taking the time to heal the sick, lame, and blind one-by-one. It would have been far more efficient for Him to show up in Galilee and say “Ok everyone, I’m going to heal people today, so bring everyone who is sick to this hill and at 4:00 I’ll heal them all at once.” We read about Him using 12 ordinary, sometimes imperceptive and unwise men to reach the world with the gospel. It would have been far more efficient to choose a larger, more qualified group who had the right connections with the right people and the most eloquent, educated words to preach the good news throughout the world. We read about Him teaching through parables when it would have been far more efficient to just lay it out plain and simple for us simple-minded humans. But Jesus understood that parables are more powerful than lectures. He understood that time with fewer people is more important than a minute with millions. He understood that people are more important than prioritized lists and productivity.

After teaching my last class of the day today, I went up to my office to get some things done before taking our 7th grade girls out for ice cream after school. My office is in a room that our teachers often use as a workroom. They have a table where they sit to grade papers and lesson plan during the day when they’re not teaching. I sat down at my desk and got to work but was interrupted when one of the teachers said “You never talk to us in here. You’re always too busy.” Ouch. My mind immediately went back to that day in my classroom in Arizona when my coworker said the same thing. Could it really be that I was still struggling with the same misplaced priorities? I’m a missionary – there’s no way that anyone could say that I value work more than I value those with whom I work – is there? The look on her face and on the face of the other teacher in the room who was nodding in agreement said it all. So I put down my lesson plans and I shut my computer and I sat down with them. And we talked. We talked about our families, about our students, about our cultures, and about our hopes for the future. We all learned more about each other, and I think we all left feeling a little more valued and appreciated. I didn’t feel more valued and appreciated because I had given them teaching tips or because I had helped them plan a lesson or because we left the conversation with something accomplished. I felt valued because someone had listened to me, shared with me, and chosen to spend time with me. 

As I was leaving, one of the teachers invited me to her house for a visit. I said “Ok, let me make a note about what day and at what time I should come,” but she stopped me. “We don’t do that here, just come by my house when you want to come by my house. You are always welcome. We’ll drink coffee, sit on the patio, and can go for a walk in the park with my kids.” I realized that I had tried to Americanize (or maybe just Kristin-ize) things again. This is just one part of the Dominican culture that I love and am so thankful for. It’s not natural for me to put down my to-do list and my schedule and just relax with a friend. But as I am conformed more and more to the image of Christ, I pray that people continue to take precedence over productivity in my life.